Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Writing Ramblings

Posted by Angie at 10:19 AM
"So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do."
~Dead Poets Society (1989)

So true.

Words have great power.  The power to hurt.  The power to inspire.
The power to change.

Many of you witnessed the explosion of comments on the Better After blog post (the post has since been deleted by the blog author).  For those of you who missed it, the post shared both our adoption story and our Twenty for Taiwan campaign.  As a design blog, a wide variety of people shared their thoughts on adoption.  I wish I could say that only the positive ones brought me to tears, but I can't.  I'm human.  We all are.  But what I want to talk about here is the love, hope, and support in the adoption world.   

This post is geared towards my fellow adopting mamas.  

We all go through highs and lows.  That is why this journey is often referred to as a roller coaster.  Today I want to share some words of encouragement.  These are words shared to me, but I feel like they are applicable to all of us, especially those adopting internationally.  The happy tears brought on my these messages washed away all the negative tears I cried.  Hopefully they will provide you all hope as well when you need it most.  And for those of you who have been commenting, e-mailing, and messaging me, thank you.  I am so blessed by you all.

  • I saw that you are looking to adopt, and I think that is absolutely wonderful.  I was adopted into a Southern family too, and I believe it saved my life.  I wasn't in danger before I was given away, but I am glad my birth mother realized that she could not give me the life that someone else could give.  I am so thankful every time I see loving parents who are excited, eager and hopeful to take in a child that is not their own blood.  I have not met my birth parents, but the people who I consider my parents are the ones who met me when I was ten days old.  I know that you received a great deal of negativity from people who read the blog, and I hope you are able to stand firm in your decision.  I am so thankful that you are able to see past a "brand" of child, and see a person, a child who needs to "eat their veggies" as you said on your blog.  Open hearts are always gifts from God.  I pray that you and your husband are fortunate and blessed with a beautiful child.  Without people like you, there wouldn't be people like me.  We need you!!!  
  • A friend told me this once and it's always stuck with me.  Imagine your in a crowded room, an your going to get your child. Your there in Taiwan, at the nursery, all these people...friends, family, strangers, and everyone is talking and trying to tell you something. "This is wrong" "Too much money" "You should have your own" "What about foster care?" "Don't you love your husband enough to make a baby with him?" "Fundraising? For a child?" "You can still back out" WHATEVER! But they are all just STATIC! Because on the other side of the room is your child...the little one God chose for you, that you've been waiting for. So you walk through the walk through the pain, the hurt, the obstacles...and you take that baby in your arms.  Any time you get discouraged, or feel sad...just envision that...envision going through the mess...and getting your child! 
  • I personally have known seven families that have journeyed through (or are journeying through) adoption, both domestic and international. Only ONE of those families was affluent to begin with. The rest of them needed help through donations and fundraisers, family members and church members. And I'm pretty sure NONE of the people that donated to their cause has had a moment of regret about it, especially after seeing how adoption transforms peoples lives and makes a family...I'd venture to guess that the complainers have never known what it's like to be a part of the family of God, where we are encouraged... 
  • I just wanted to encourage you today.  Please don't let the uneducated comments of others get you down.  My husband and I are in the process of adopting 2 children from the Congo, and yes it is very expensive. Like most adoptive parents we are doing what we can to fund this ourselves, but we feel an urgency to help these children.  It is incredulous that many said wait until you can afford it.  Every day I wait another child goes hungry or is abused or dies.  How can we possibly wait.  If God has called you to this journey He will see you through to the end. I will pray for you and your child to be.  God bless. 
    And to think, this is just a sampling of the messages I received over the past few days.  God bless you all.
Much love,
Future Mama

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Gal. 6:9


EDaniell said...

Thanks so much for sharing this, especially those comments. We're on the same journey, and have experienced the same thing, both positive and negative. In the end, though, all that matters is following Christ and what He has called us to, which at this time is caring for orphans. I can't wait for you to announce that you have your little one. All the criticism will seem silly then, won't it? Thanks for this post. :)

Future Mama on June 29, 2011 at 10:39 AM said...

Perfectly said!  And I can't wait until for our announcement post too, haha!

natwamblz said...

I think it is truly remarkable that you're adopting for your first child. It takes guts, and you've got'em. :)

Kelly on June 29, 2011 at 4:52 PM said...

So, I don't know what was in that post you mentioned that stirred up hateful comments but that's so sad.  And, two... how can I get comments from strangers like you do?!  Your blog has blossomed and you've really attracted a crowd and it's so fun to see people brought together by this beautiful thing called adoption!

Future Mama on June 29, 2011 at 5:15 PM said...

Thanks Kelly!  I love all you readers!  I'm about to send you an e-mail, but the short story is that I spend way too much time reading and commenting on a variety of blogs, both adoption and non-adoption related :-)  That's my best guess, anyway! 

Brooke said...

Hey you,
I happened to go through and read most, if not all of, the comments. It is hard to understand how some can be so opposed to adoption and how biased others are in regards to race issues. If anything, I feel it is a symptom of a larger issue in America. I wonder when "free speech" began to mean that it was okay to spew hate gratuitously.

We haven't launched our huge blog yet, and we will not be doing quite as much fundraising as you both are, but I'm sure there will be some who come around with some not-too-kind things to say. Regardless, I know who God is. I know who He called me to be. I know what He's called us to do. I know that God loves adoption, and those who aren't on board are missing out on a better life. That's kind of a hard statement, because there are people against us adopting who aren't strangers to us. :(

Aubrey Shaw on June 30, 2011 at 9:35 AM said...

Some people will never see that their way isn't always the best way. You and your husband are doing an admirable thing. Keep your chin up and keep your hearts full of love.

jtsheehy said...

I am so sorry for the bad comments!!  I didn't get to see them but I can imagine some of them.  When you step out in faith what you are doing will look weird and crazy to so many people but thank you for stepping out in faith and bringing glory to God by adopting and blogging about it!! I am praying for you all!!

Kate said...

Wow!  I had not read the blog post before this.  I went to the cached version of it. I was stunned and in tears for you at first!  I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS HARSH CRITICISM CUTS YOU RIGHT TO YOUR HEART!  But then my tears turned to happy ones for the people that openly stood up for not just you, not just for international adoption, but for all adoption!  That's really what we're all trying to raise awareness that there are 167 MILLION orphans out there that need homes.  It doesn't matter where you adopt from, which family raising money to adopt that you donate to, IT JUST MATTERS THAT YOU DO SOMETHING TO HELP!!!  Blessings to you, Angela!  God is with you in this!!!

Lori Stambaugh McMurphy on June 30, 2011 at 10:58 PM said...

I was part of the commenting (one of the shocked ones, we are an adoptive family ourselves) and I am still so surprised at some of those comments from that blog.  I keep telling myself that we are here to educate those who don't know God's heart for adoption.  Our daughter has been home with us for a little over a year and a half.  She's spent the first 15 months of her life in an orphanage.  She is just as much our daughter as our biological children.  God created a child for us, we just had to go to China to get her.  
You guys will never be the same!  It's a wonderful ride!!!

desiree on July 8, 2011 at 9:39 PM said...

I thought of you today as I  received words that cut deep and wounded me about our fundraising.  I came back to this post for my own encouragement.  Love you adoption mamas - I love that we can stick together. 

Future Mama on July 8, 2011 at 10:11 PM said...

Desiree, my heart breaks for you.  I understand and am so sorry that all of us attract harsh criticisms from time to time.  Thank you for reminding me why I blog, I hope those words from others brought you encouragement.  You are an amazing mother and will be amazing to your children born in Ethiopia!!! God bless!!

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