Thursday, June 16, 2011

Future Mama AKA BUG WARRIOR!!!

Posted by Angie at 8:17 AM
It was dusk.  I walked to the kitchen window and saw the sun just setting and the world filling with shadows.  I'm a bit hungry, I thought, as I walked over to the fridge.  Ah, leftover shrimp fried rice.  My stomach gurgled happily in agreement.  Walking back to the sink to wash my hands, I turned on the faucet with one hand underneath. 


I about died.  Before you start doubting my cleanliness, perhaps I should mention that I am currently not in my house, but am traveling for work.  The house I am staying in is over 200 years old, historic, beautiful, but about the scariest place you can spend the night.  Lace curtains on the windows turn to ghosts and creaky floorboards into the moans of ghouls.  Did I mention I am staying here by myself?  Ah yes, fun.  But this haunted house is a story for another day.  I digress.

The bug fell in my hand.  I looked down.  I screamed and threw it in the sink basin.  I ran around the kitchen flailing my hands.  I breathed loudly.  Chills ran up and down my spine.  Finally regaining some composure, I grabbed about 20 paper towels.  I placed them over the bug, wadded it up, and threw it in the trash.  Was it squished?  Probably not.  Let's all pray it doesn't crawl back out.

How did this happen to me?  I used to be great with bugs.  It came with the territory of being the big sister to two younger brothers.  Ah, but then I got married.  And when you are married to Future Papa, you no longer have to kill bugs.  You just have to yell a name and run away. 

What kind of bug attacked me?  I have no idea.  Well, it wasn't a roach like we have in the South, or I probably would not be alive to tell you the tale.  It was a round bug.  It was bigger than a quarter.  It was gross.

All that matters is that we met for battle and I emerged victorious.  Give me a badge and call me ready to adopt.  I can now protect a child from non-roach bugs the size of a quarter.  You may henceforth refer to me as Future Mama, Bug Warrior.

 At least, until I am home with my husband again, and he can take over the bug-squishing duties.

Much love,
Future Mama

P.S.  Do not type "scary bug" into google images when trying to find a picture for a blog post.  Now, in addition to the ghosts, I have a whole other slew of critters to haunt my dreams.


Erica said...

I HATE bugs! Of any kind. Especially spiders. After your P.S., I just HAD to go type scary bug in to google images. My curiosity was killing me. Now the gross images may do the job instead. Thanks a lot...... ;)

Future Mama on June 16, 2011 at 11:43 AM said...

HAHA!  Oh Erica.  I know, aren't the pictures crazy?!  I didn't even know bugs like that existed!!!!

Natalie Walker said...

Bugs are icky!

Brooke said...

I never could figure out how I went from digging for worms to screaming like a nut when I saw ANY bug!


Larisa on June 16, 2011 at 10:10 PM said...

You are definitely ready to be a Mama! I still squeal in fright and yell for the hubby whenever possible, though. David says that I have a very distinct "spider" voice.

Katie Lindsey on June 16, 2011 at 11:01 PM said...

My husband thinks it may have been a stinkbug. Our friends in PA say they are having an epidemic of them. :)

SassyAgapi on June 17, 2011 at 1:55 AM said...

ewwww i am the worst when it comes to bugs mostly spiders!!!!

Future Mama on June 17, 2011 at 8:56 AM said...


Future Mama on June 17, 2011 at 8:56 AM said...

Katie, you solved the mystery!  I looked it up on google images...I was attacked by a stink bug!

Jane on June 18, 2011 at 11:14 PM said...

You poor thing! Yes, you need to protect your kiddos from bugs when they're little, but you can also train them to get them for you when they're older! :-)

My five-year-old is now the resident bug-getter in the house. Proud of her! (And you!)

April Neilson Chism on June 19, 2011 at 1:07 AM said...

I don't want to scare you, but I want you to be prepared when you get to Taiwan.  It is the birthplace of some of the biggest, nastiest, creepiest bugs and spiders in the world.  Whatever you do, don't google "banana spider."  Don't say I didn't warn you!

Blogger on October 22, 2016 at 3:36 PM said...

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