Monday, February 28, 2011

What are you waiting for?

Posted by Angie at 7:00 AM
I began discussing the option of adoption with the future papa back when we were engaged.  It was something God put in my heart from a young age, and something that we became excited about day.  When we started talking seriously about children, the "w" word came up often.


I imagine this is something that comes up with all young married couples.  When is it the right time to go from a family of two to a family of three?  Or, for some of you adopting mamas who are in pursuit of sibling groups, to a family of four or even five.  I can't even imagine!  When is it time to give up spur of the moment ice cream runs at midnight?  Late night movie marathons?  Sleeping past nine on Saturday mornings?  Turn our lives upside down?  Certainly, my biological clock is ticking, but it's ticking slowly.  We're young.  As far as we know, we've got lots of time.  And we love our life.


But God was pulling on our hearts.  My heart.  And signs started popping up EVERYWHERE!  (like that literal sign I talked about here) I met a girl in my graduate school program who could talk about adoption as long as I could.  We saw families with adopted kids at grocery stores (oh that awkward experience), restaurants, and our gym.  Our favorite television shows began running episodes on babies (anyone else watch How I Met Your Mother?!).  And even adoption.  Church sermons inspired us.  An adoption group invited us to join its founding committee.  You get the idea.

One night, I finally got the courage to bring up the topic adopting in the foreseeable future with one of my best friends.  This girl, who graduated with a psychology degree, has always been my voice of reason.  Honest, even when I don't want to hear it.  For that, I love her.  I braced myself for all the reactions I expected Meg to throw at me.  Why are you in a rush to have kids?  Aren't you too busy with school?  Really, Future Mama, adoption? 

But, to my surprise, she gave me none of these.  She merely listened to my breathless, ten-minute rant, and asked: 

What are you waiting for?

I literally froze.  Of all the scenarios I had run through my mind, this was not one of them. 

What were we waiting for?  We live in a small, but cute home.  We have great friends, great families, and a great church.  We love our jobs, and while they don't pay a lot, we are financially stable.  We love our town.  We've got love to give.  What were we waiting for when there are literally, at this exact moment, millions of children waiting, wishing, praying for parents?

I ran across this song, coincidentally titled "What Are You Waiting For" by Natalie Grant, a couple weeks after having that talk with that friend.  It spoke to my heart.

Sometimes I get that
overwhelming feeling
so sad the faces on TV
If I tried to make a difference
would it help anyway
But then I stop and to
myself I say...

So you wanna change the world
What are you waiting for
You say you're gonna start right now
What are you waiting for
It only takes one voice
So come on now and shout it out
Give a little more
What are you waiting for

Sometimes I feel a little helpless
Seems like I can't do a thing
But anything Is possible
just you wait and see
Good things happen if you
just believe....


Someday somehow
You're gonna take that step
Cause time is ticking away

Right here right now
Before it's too late
Gonna face tomorrow today


Future papa and I still go through waves where we wonder if now is the right time.  Should we be waiting?  Will we be good parents?  Are we ready?  And I inevitably hop online to look up more parenting books to add to our reading list.  But, deep down, we both confidently know that we are ready.  We are excited.  God will prepare us for the challenges ahead.  And that's a good feeling.

I worked in our church's two year old class this Sunday and oooohhh....those kiddos were precious!!!  They may get a post of their own tomorrow.  I'm curious, my lovely readers who are also mamas, how did you know that you were ready to have kids? 

Much Love,
Future Mama


desiree on February 28, 2011 at 9:58 AM said...

:) We just knew having kids felt right. We experienced the same things as you.... am I really ready? Do I really want to give up x...y....z? Will we be good parents? All of those questions will continue to hit you (or at least they did me) for a long while. Even (embarrased to admit this) after we had our daughter. And then a whole new batch hit us with our second - will they be good together - how will we love two? etc.
And now, going into adoption - it seems a whole new slew of questions are arising. But I know that God has opened our hearts to more children & it is love multiplied not divided. And He is slowly preparing our hearts day by day.
Also know that the doubt you feel is not from God - its normal, yes... but don't dwell on it. The devil wants you to feel like your not ready because he doesn't want another believer. He will always be there to bring more doubt. And he is sneaky. On the flip side - God is always there to catch us & answer our questions. Run to him, always :)

Katie said...

well we're at the same stage as you and I totally know what you mean by the questions that pop into your head. We get them too! Like you said though, every time my fears start popping up or questions God brings something in that calms them ,reminds me who he is and that this is his plan! I am so excited for the day we bring our babies home! I get teary eyed all the time thinking about it!

Alinae78 said...

The doubt you are experiencing is normal! Even though ever since I could remember I've always wanted to be a mommy, there still was a natural progression within our married life. Society teaches us that there are steps that you should/must take in order to be deemed as "good" parents. Finish college, have stable jobs/income, you should have had time together as a couple to have had fun, etc, etc. While some of the above may have some value, I don't think it's the be all end all.
I think it's really a personal decision between you, your spouse, and God. God will supply all your needs. In His perfect time He will work out all the details-money, your hearts, and your child. As I look back at our adoption, I'm amazed at how perfectly God orchestrated EVERYTHING! If I had been in charge we would of had biological children and then adopted. We could have completely missed our Titus. God's timing is perfect. Once you are home with your child and look back at your journey I think you will be in awe at God's perfect provision. Trust Him as you walk through the journey.

Dawn said...

I think only our society says you have to wait...until??? I don't think there is a "perfect" time to start a family, get married, or whatever. I believe that if you have a calling- DO IT!!!!! We originally waited to have children because we had to adopt (I had cancer- long story- BIG MIRACLE)...and back then agencies wanted you to wait years before you could adopt. If we had to do it again- would totally have started sooner :)

Melody on February 28, 2011 at 7:51 PM said...

We talked adoption while we were dating. We didn't discuss a time frame then, just that we were open to it someday. Shortly after we were married, we started trying to conceive, with no luck. Instead of trying involved fertility treatments, we pursued adoption instead.

We began the adoption process when we had barely been married two years. He was 24 and I was 23. Our son was placed with us 9 months later. Yes, we were young, and no, I don't regret it for a second. It was so unbelievably worth it.

Kaleena Edwards said...

Beautiful post!!! What an encouragement! It is such breath of fresh air to hear someone else talk about adopting as "plan A," not just "plan B if we can't have bio kids". I am right there with you! My husband and I have been married 2 and a half years and have been talking about adoption since we were dating. We are doing our best to listen to the Lord and move forward when He tells us it is time. Thank you for this post! God is good!

Future Mama on March 1, 2011 at 10:54 PM said...

Can I just say, the comments on this post are ROCKIN'!!! I have LOVED reading each and every one...thank you all :-)

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