Thursday, July 21, 2011

What I wish I knew

Posted by Angie at 12:36 PM
{source}
For this post, I want to try something a little more interactive than usual.

The prompt is simple:  Mothers, what is something you wish you knew before you became a mama?  What words of encouragement or advice would you give to your pregnant or pre-adoption self?

Complete the sentence:

I wish I had known that__________________.

As new comments (or e-mails, if you'd rather) come in, I will add them below.  Can't wait to see what we come up with!  I'll start with a few from some friends of mine...

You will love your baby more than you ever loved that pre-baby body.  Stretch marks, scars and post-baby curves are worth it.

Babies change marriages drastically, affecting your sex drive, motivation, energy, and need for affection. I wish I'd known how hard it can sometimes be to balance baby and Hubby. She's my world and he knows it. I wish I was better at this balancing act.

They grow up quicker than you think.  Enjoy them :-)

It's OK to take time for yourself. It doesn't make you a bad/irresponsible/neglectf​ul/unaffectionate/etc mother. It just makes you human. 
 
What would you add?

I wish I had known that I should have been focusing just as much on my attachment toward my son as I had been on his attachment toward me.  I had always thought that there is no way I would have to deal with that even when other adoptive mommies talked about it.  I only dealt with it for about 9 days, but it was a hard 9 days!  Some mommies deal with it for months!

Take the time to just sit and watch your children....just looking at them learning and changing and being so darn cute!  Before you know it they are 5, 6, 7, 11 years older and it feels like it was just yesterday that they were holding our their chubby little hands out for you to pick up and cuddle them! You are going to be an awesome Mama! Cannot wait to see what your little bundle looks like!

I wish I had known that my kids relationship with me would mirror my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I realize their sinfulness magnifies my own sinfulness in how I walk with God. Yet at the same time I realized that as dependent on me as they are, I am just as dependent on God for my needs.  Pretty humbling...and only drew me closer to God.   And I also wish I had known that moms really do wipe their kids snot on their clothes if a tissue isn't handy, that I would use my saliva to clean their faces, and that if they were going to vomit I would catch it in my hands.  On second thought, maybe it is good I didn't know that stuff. ;)

I wish that I knew how slow some parts go and how fast other parts go. That first year was excruciatingly painfully slow. Yes he was cute, and yes he was small but all of those nights just sitting in the recliner just wishing and hoping he would just sleep. And then there were sometimes that I just wished he would get bigger and do more. Then he turned a year old, and now he's two. Where did it all go? He's not a baby anymore. It seems like it's going by so much faster. So enjoy the moments to their fullest, the good and the bad. 

I wish I had known...just how much he was going to watch ME.  The example I hope to set he sees...and the actions I wish he didn't...he does.  When I am on the computer just a little too much, or the phone, or the tv.  When I spend time with him, or my husband, or with Jesus.  He sees it all.  I only hope that the good outweighs the bad! 

Much love,
Future Mama

13 comments:

Mandie said...

I wish I had known that I should have been focusing just as much on my attachment toward my son as I had been on his attachment toward me.  I had always thought that there is no way I would have to deal with that even when other adoptive mommies talked about it.  I only dealt with it for about 9 days, but it was a hard 9 days!  Some mommies deal with it for months!

Future Mama on July 21, 2011 at 1:33 PM said...

Thanks Mandie!  Just added it above.  I had not thought about that, I am so glad you said something.  Off to look into it!! :-)

Elisabeth Schaap said...

Take the time to just sit and watch your children....just looking at them learning and changing and being so darn cute!  Before you know it they are 5, 6, 7, 11 years older and it feels like it was just yesterday that they were holding our their chubby little hands out for you to pick up and cuddle them! You are going to be an awesome Mama! Cannot wait to see what your little bundle looks like!

Future Mama on July 21, 2011 at 2:28 PM said...

Thanks Elisabeth :-)  Love it!  And yes...I can't wait for those chubby little hands!!

Jessi said...

I wish I had known that my kids relationship with me would mirror my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I realize their sinfulness magnifies my own sinfulness in how I walk with God. Yet at the same time I realized that as dependent on me as they are, I am just as dependent on God for my needs.  Pretty humbling...and only drew me closer to God.   And I also wish I had known that moms really do wipe their kids snot on their clothes if a tissue isn't handy, that I would use my saliva to clean their faces, and that if they were going to vomit I would catch it in my hands.  On second thought, maybe it is good I didn't know that stuff. ;)

Future Mama on July 21, 2011 at 2:57 PM said...

Jessi...that is just beautiful.  So beautiful!  As for the 2nd half...yeah...good thing that is followed by the first part, HAHA!

Natalie on July 21, 2011 at 4:47 PM said...

I wish that I knew how slow some parts go and how fast other parts go. That first year was excruciatingly painfully slow. Yes he was cute, and yes he was small but all of those nights just sitting in the recliner just wishing and hoping he would just sleep. And then there were sometimes that I just wished he would get bigger and do more. Then he turned a year old, and now he's two. Where did it all go? He's not a baby anymore. It seems like it's going by so much faster. So enjoy the moments to their fullest, the good and the bad.

Future Mama on July 21, 2011 at 5:59 PM said...

:-)  Love it.

Brooke said...

Great idea for a post! Excited to see the responses!

Brooke Annessawww.TheAnnessaFamily.blogspot.com

Jennifer@TheWaymanFamilyNest said...

I've really enjoyed reading everyone's responses on this post.  Great idea!  I like the interactive post idea!  Do another one soon so I can fill in the blank (since I'm not a mama I didn't do this one)   : )

Jennifer
thewaymanfamilynest.blogspot.com

Future Mama on July 22, 2011 at 8:48 AM said...

Totally Jennifer!  I am lovin' it too :-)  Can't wait until we can add our own responses one day to this question!!

Megan Carr on July 23, 2011 at 11:08 PM said...

I wish I had known...just how much he was going to watch ME.  The example I hope to set he sees...and the actions I wish he didn't...he does.  When I am on the computer just a little too much, or the phone, or the tv.  When I spend time with him, or my husband, or with Jesus.  He sees it all.  I only hope that the good outweighs the bad! 

Future Mama on July 24, 2011 at 12:50 PM said...

I'm sure the good outweighs the bad, Megan!!!  The rest just proves that mamas are human too :-)

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