Wednesday, May 11, 2011

We told the folks!

Posted by Angie at 7:58 AM
So we told our folks!  Finally!  (for how we planned to do it, check out these posts: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, and finally, our adoption video)  Many of you have asked how it went and we are thrilled to tell you how they reacted.  I'm still sorting through my thoughts at this point, so I apologize if this post is a bit rambling. 

Our First Announcement
The first people we told were my mother and younger brothers.  Saturday afternoon we all sat around my living room as they opened their respective birthday, graduation, and mother's day gifts.  My mom opened her bracelet that said "one less," was incredibly confused, and so we then turned on the video.  Well, actually, when I hit play I somehow messed up the tv!

"Close your eyes!  Close your eyes!" I shouted as Future Papa scrambled to fix it for me.  Then the video started playing.  And I started crying the minute the music started.  Bawling crying!  I just couldn't control it.  My mom and brothers kept looking back and and forth between me and the video, trying to figure out what was going on.  They seemed the most surprised out of all the people we told these past few days.
Their faces may have looked a little something like this! {source}
Later that evening, Future Papa was grilling burgers.  My youngest brother was on the porch with him too.  I was in the kitchen and I could hear him asking my husband all sorts of questions about the process, adoption, and our decision.  I almost started crying again.  My baby brother (not really a baby any more, he is 18) seemed so positive and so curious, it just melted my heart.  

Our Second Announcement
A couple hours later we gave Future Papa's parents the go-ahead to open their package, which held the bracelet for his mother and the video.  They called us immediately with assurances of love and support.  Some of the things my humorous father-in-law said:
  • So you're going to adopt all of those babies in the video, right?!
  • Sigh, I suppose I need to learn how to like Asian food. (he really doesn't like it!)
  • We need to look up grandma and grandpa in Chinese!
We knew they were excited, but did not realize just how excited they were until we talked to them again the following day.  That morning, Future Papa's father (who is a music minister) had not only told his entire church staff about our adoption, but also the choir.  We have to admit, it felt pretty good to see them so excited for us.

Excited baby!! {source}

Our Third Announcement
Last but not least, I still had not heard from my own dad as of Sunday afternoon.  Not wanting to wait another day, I told him to check his mailbox and CALL ME!  I'm glad I did, because he told me that he rarely checks it more than once a week and would not have had I not asked him too.  I certainly could not have waited to hear from him for that long!  He, too, seemed excited and asked us a lot of great questions about Taiwan, the adoption process, and how we came to this decision.

Still Spreading the Word!
We are still in the process of telling other family members (grandparents, aunts, cousins) and our close friends.  I did decide that I am only going to tell a couple of people from work that we are adopting.  Overall, the reactions we have received have been a mix of support and surprise, to different degrees.  I anticipated questions about the process and the timeframe, but have certainly got some interesting questions that I had not expected.  One of my best friends asked if she could still throw me a baby shower and how that would work with an adoption!  I told her that I would be thrilled for her to do so and that the perfect time would be after we receive our referral.  It's funny to me what the first things that come to people's minds are.

The announcing process has also been eye-opening.  We are very blessed in that we have not received negative reactions from our close family and friends, but we have discovered that there is a lot of confusion...about adoption and about why WE are adopting, as a young, fertile (as far as we know), childless couple.  Some of the polite concerns raised have been related more to our age, since we are young and the first in our group of friends to be having a baby, let alone to be pursuing an adoption.  I suppose I share all of this to keep things real on this blog.  No one has been negative, but the questions and concerns voiced have helped me to realize that if I get this from our closest friends and family, I am certainly going to get it (and in a less polite way) from acquaintances and strangers.
So confused!  You aren't infertile? {source}

It feels so strange to talk about adoption aloud to people other than my husband.  I have been writing about it on this blog, sure, but to sit down with some of my closest friends and share the news has been really surreal.  I'm not really sure how to quite describe it, as this rambling post is probably showing. 

I wish I had some great way to end this post.  Some great turn of phrase or lesson learned.  I suppose I'll just say that the Future Papa and I are as excited as ever about this adoption, are becoming better at explaining it in each conversation, and are enjoying the support, encouragement, and promises of prayer that we are receiving!

Much love,
Future Mama

8 comments:

Natalie on May 11, 2011 at 8:36 AM said...

I think you're doing just fine. I think everyone wants the best for you. And whether or no you decide to get pregnant for real vs. an adoption is really up to you and your husband. You felt the need now to help. So go with it! There is always a chance of more children in your future too.


I have thought about adoption myself, but in my own time-line that will come much later.


All you have to do is educate your family and friends, and then I'm sure they'll completely understand where you're coming from.


I think you should make them a story book of all that you have said so far on your blog, give them the back story so they can take their time to understand and process your decision.


I personally would rather them ask questions than to not, it shows they care and love you and just want what's best! :)

Tday said...

Tell your friends/family they can come play with my girls anytime and see how wonderful the end to your journey will be. I have had sooooooo many people spend time with Janie & Lexie and then say they are ready to begin the process.

We need to get together this summer so you can meet them. Maybe a park playdate!!

desiree on May 11, 2011 at 2:08 PM said...

So glad that your reactions went well! My friends Mandie and Dave (
http://menzeradoption.blogspot.com/
)
are able to have their own (as far as they know) and did the same thing.... they got some of the same questions. All I can say is you know what is best for your family. And you know that God put this on your heart :)

Makenzie said...

I remember how strange it was talking to our families... we didn't have a big announcement, we just kind of gradually talked about it and before they knew it, they were having an Ethiopian grandchild! Be prepared for a LOT of weird comments... especially since this is your first. It's always awkward to get asked about your fertility at the bank or the grocery store!

Dawn said...

I am sooo very excited for you!!!!! The main support of family is wonderful!!!! Praying as you tell others....and the constant flow of education to many, many, many more as you bring your little one home. It is a joy and privilege, but sometimes hard too. Hey, God doesn't call it easy.....although that would be great for me. he he he....

Katie Lindsey on May 11, 2011 at 7:11 PM said...

I've also been getting the "you're so young!" comments. Which is why I'm holding off on telling most of my co-workers. :)

hoostaiwan on May 12, 2011 at 11:47 AM said...

I'm glad your family's response was fairly positive. . .remember, they do want only the best for you, and adoption is not the "norm". You have had a lot more time to process your decision and research and get excited. They will be excited, too. (And you will get plenty of practice responding to people's various questions and statements, especially once your child is home.) So excited for you and your husband. . .hope it won't be too long before we hear good news of a referral!


We're leaving in less than three weeks to go to Taiwan! Adoption is truly an amazing journey. . .


Cindy

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