Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Choosing Gender: Part 2

Posted by Angie at 8:06 AM
Topics of the Hour: nerves, glittery shoes, flowers, and choosing gender part 2
(part 1 here)
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But first, a little background:
As I mentioned Monday, I volunteered in our church's nursery this past Sunday.  When I saw that bright yellow insert in the bulletin asking for more help at 11:00, I thought hmm, why not?  We typically attend the 9:30 contemporary service (where Future Papa plays bass) and bible study at 11:00, so I supposed it couldn't hurt to miss a bible study from time to time.  Plus, volunteers only help out once every 9 weeks or so (hired teachers supervise week in week out), so I decided this would be a good way to  ease into my future mommyhood. 

Nerves:
I was assigned the terrible 2 year old room.  When I strolled into the class, the kiddos were all sitting peacefully eating their snack.  Too peaceful.  I introduced myself to the teacher and watched them somewhat awkwardly as ten little pairs of eyes stared back.  They munched their animal crackers slowly (which I desperately wanted!  I was starving!).  I suddenly realized I had not played with kids this young in years.  Future Papa and I worked as camp counselors all through college, sure.  But these kids had itty bitty fingers.  Itty bitty feet (oh yes, still love the baby feet).  These were no elementary/middle/high school campers.  These kiddos were nearly babies.  Fragile little humans.  Insert the butterflies.  

Glittery Shoes:
The crackers disappeared into their bellies and the toddling two-year-olds were released!  First task:  Monitor Mr. Potato Head Playtime.  I sat down amongst the pile of plastic eyeballs and earrings when immediately a little girl with the cutest little shoes plopped down on my lap and asked to be read a book.  These shoes are almost as cute as her shoes:
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I am convinced no human could refuse a creature with such piercing blue eyes as hers, so I happily settled down to read a tale about colors.  She flipped the pages and leaned her cute little curls against my chest.  Remember that internal debate about choosing gender?  Yep, she captured my heart and I immediately began dreaming about adopting a little girl.

Flowers:
After about 20 minutes of turning pages and forcing objects into poor Mr. Potato Head, we proceeded to the playground.  I situated myself in the sandbox to continue entertaining and refereeing the toddling twos.  Not long into our quest to build a sand volcano, a precious little boy in overalls came up and handed me one of these.
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After expressing my delight for the yellow weed flower, the tiny boy's face lit up and it was all I could do to stop myself from reaching over and squishing his little chubby cheeks.  He proceeded to bring me about ten more yellow weed flowers and then joined us in the quest to construct a sand volcano.  As I watched him and the other bouncing boys whirl around the sandbox with their trucks, I couldn't help but think how lucky I would be to be referred a little boy like this.

Choosing Gender:
Long story short long, I had a WONDERFUL time with the terrible terrific twos.  And I wish I could be on the rotation more than once every nine weeks!

The big picture conclusion?  If I am this wishy washy about gender...I think we are much closer to having a decision.  I just don't know if I can place a check in a girl box or a boy box.  We will certainly keep praying about this...but at this point, I think it might be best to check that little either box and see what we are blessed with :-)

Much love,
Future Mama

9 comments:

Alicia said...

We chose either and I'm so glad we did. I can't imagine missing our precious Titus.

Dawn said...

We too couldn't choose :) Either is such a blessing.

Cheryl said...

We have three precious daughters and are in the adoption process. We could not specify a gender either. We figured God did such a fabulous job of choosing the first 3 for us, that He surely could greatly exceed any expectation or preference we had again!

desiree on March 2, 2011 at 3:01 PM said...

Yay... I love this! We are open for either & know that God will give us what fits with our family. Either will be a blessing. :)

Michele said...

Remember, God already has your child picked out for you! I believe that it doesn't matter what you put down, you will get Your child. You certainly don't have to listen to me, but if you really are trusting God and walking by faith in this journey than let Him decide. Now, I did choose gender, but I already had 4 boys. I thought that I was fine with my boys, done having kids and although it would have been nice to have a daughter it just wasn't going to happen for me. Then, out of the blue, I had a dream one night. The dream was set in the future and I was talking on the phone to my daughter. Even in my dream I knew this wasn't possible but then a voice said, "yes this is your daughter, your adopted daughter." And that is why we began the adoption journey, searching for a little girl. (More signs came along to nudge us along but basically that dream was it.)And God already had her picked out, even before I ever considered adopting. Crazy? I believed it. And about the same time I had that dream my daughter was being relinquished into the orphanage at the age of 3 years, 9months. Nearly 2 years later, she is home with us (3 months) and healing from her past.

Terri said...

When we were childless on our first adoption journey, we were open to either gender, too, but I probably imagined myself with a little girl because I was one of three sisters. However, God brought two little boys into our lives, and then, when we were blessed (miraculously!) biologically, God gave us two more boys (don't ever tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor!). So this time around, we were looking for a little girl to round out our family, but when we were in your shoes, the "either" box worked just fine, because God did the choosing anyway!

Larisa on March 3, 2011 at 10:49 PM said...

Love this post! I so remember that scary feeling of awkwardness on my first Sunday of teaching the 4 year old Sunday school class.
We couldn't specify a gender either time in our adoption paperwork - it just didn't feel right for us, although I have no issue with families that do choose a gender. Just pray about whether you should specify or not. I'm a big believer in praying over the little details, because I believe that God LOVES to show us His plans for us. He knows you and He knows your child - and He created you for each other. He will delight in bringing you together in His timing.

Sarah H said...

I'm new to your blog but love it! Good luck on your journey and thank you for being so vulnerable to share. From a mommy to a future mommy- my vote is "either". I don't know if I I could have picked the gender for my children. I have a daughter and now a son. With my second I really thought it was going to be another girl, and was mentally planning. But my son is AMAZING and I am blessed to have him. Just think what I might have missed had I have been able to choose. Boy or girl, you will love your child to no end! "Either" will be such a fun surprise and fully allow God's blessing on your family- IMHO.

Ani said...

We also chose "either", and ended up with a boy and a girl! I can't imagine choosing one gender over another!

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